lololol Updates on the whole family issue! (>D)
Agony
Lol. Anyways. So about my whole iPod and tablet getting taken away issues, I have /just/ been informed (by my sister, so i dont know how reliable it is) that my mom isnt going to ~*~sell them~*~, shes just going to test me. Shes going to take my iPod away for 7 days, and if im a "good little girl" Ill get it back after the 7 days. But every time i act out or yell, shes going to take it away for 7 more days. Same thing with my tablet, only its on a 10 day cycle. I dont know what shes thinkin. I need music more than art, but whatever. She wasnt going to tell me this, however. But, you know what I have to say to that? Fuck it. Im going to act out and rebel against everything she says and does to me. She'll lose count. And besides. Im not giving in this arguement. Im standing my fucking ground. She doesnt think I can do it. NO CAVING FOR THE TENNASAUR. She'll eventually break down and cry, and then give them back to me, after she realizes that i just dont fucking care. I had time to think about what Im going to do, art-wise (seeing as, if she takes one step near the CD player im going to have a bitch fit and PUSH her out of my room...not like i dont do that as it is now. and she knows, if i get really angry i can hurt her. MAJORLY. And with the current circumstances, IM NOT AFRAID TO EITHER. I'd rather go to jail than live in a shit fuck like this. And yes. its a SHIT FUCK. XD), and I've decided that Im going to try and improve on my traditional media. I've gotten horrible at it, so i'd like to start drawing on paper again. I mean, by the time school comes 'round, im going to need to be able to doodle, wont I? 
So. Whenever I get the chance to...scan things, I will. But you wont really see anything from me until I get my tablet back (if at all...depending on how much i tick her off/if she keeps count....XDD which i dont find very likely, but hey. this could go on ALLLL year long. Im very good at holding grudges. But so is she...But i think i have a good chance at making her cry. Im going to say some hurtful things back to her next time she tries to say some shit back to me. fuck her. what kind of mother is she?). But now. its time to...GET MY DAVEY ON.hahah
ahaha
ahah
AFI FOR THE WIN.
And. Ahaha. My mom works in the morning. And I've become a vampire. Sooooooo. What im going to do is make all the noise possible so that she cant sleep. And then when she bitches at me, Ill say its because she took my iPod (and headphones) away, so I cant listen to my music in my ears anymore, and just HAVE to have it on full
Am I a genious or WHAT? Ahaha. I love to cause misery. Especially when its to someone who has been causing it to ME half my life, and I havent done shit about it! TIME TO MAKE PEOPLES LIVES A LIVING HELL! HELLA YA!See? Im feeling better allllllllready.
Im so smart
s
m
r
t.
HEHEH
...
or maybe its the fact that I had a total of...you know...half an hours sleep.
WARCRAFT DOES THAT TO YOU, YOU KNOW...
Oh yaaaaaaaaa. I forgot to mension, If im not drawwwwwwing, I just recently (thanks to my dad) bought a new Warcraft subscription. And theres no way for her to cancel it. So HAHAHA BITCH. WHAT NOW? SHE CANT STOP ME FROM PLAYING WARCRAFT ASJKDADHAKJ AHAHAHAHAHAAH /I WIN/. SHE /LOSSSSSSSSES/. MISERABLY. AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
IMSOEVIL.
ANDILIKEITTHATWAY.
lulululul
IM OFF. BYE
(wow. I sound like such a bitch/shitty child. But if you lived with her, you would be too.)[/edit II]
[edit]: Bill and Tom (from Tokio Hotel) never fail to cheer me up (for the moment).
[they are love]. You should totally check out the lastest episode of Tokio Hotel TV. Throwing skittles at Georg. How cute. (I swear, I've watched that episode like 5 times now) [/edit]If you dont like depressing or angry journals about family, please dont read this. I dont want to write another one of these, but since I have nothing or no one to turn too, im writing here. Ill probably delete it tomorrow. But hey.
Things have kind of taken a dive for me, family wise, since summer has started. And my god, maybe I should have gone to summer school just to get away from them. Its so hard to live in a family where all my parents expect me to do is work for them, or "do the right things". I /am/ doing the right things. I dont drink, I dont fuck for fun, I dont do drugs, I dont smoke. What half...no three quarters of the teenagers my age are doing. But apparently what Im doing isnt right enough for them. Im allowed to go out until ungodly hours of the night, because they "trust me". But when Im gone, and doing things during the /day/ they expect me to be out having fun with my friends, and at home doing chores at the same time. Meanwhile, my sister is sleeping on the couch, or watching TV eating her brains out. I dont get out much. Obviously. But when I do, and I come home, they bitch and yell and complain because I didnt do this, or this, or this. Or when the child they have NEVER yelled at or taken ANY responsibility at ALL for does something to me that REALLY pisses me off (and, ya Im an angry person because THEY made me that way), and I do something to get her back, they blame ME. Oh fuck this shit about "being the older and more mature one". FUCK THEM. Im going to pound her brains out when she spills milk on my homework PURPOSELY, or when she punches me and leaves an INSTANT bruise, FUCK YA im going to KILL her.
But thats been going on for years.
This is what happened tonight:
I had my guinea pigs on the floor when I made plans with Gillian, ~Avenged-Angel , to go over to her house to play Rockband. I didnt think I was going to be long, so i quickly picked them up and put them into their cage, and was going to clean up their mess when I got home.
Meanwhile, we were at her house, and then made plans to go to the movies. Previous to this, my mom and I were in a bit of an arguement (which resulted in her saying shit like: I hate you, i never want to see you again, you're exactly like your father, you're such a pig, get the fuck away from me, you're a little bitch, and so on and so on), so I said ya, lets go, because i dont want to see her mother fucking face at the moment. So i ran in my house to find my cash, but we were in a tad bit of a hurry so I kept my shoes on. Apparently, my mom has "had it with me running around the house with my shoes on" (this was the SECOND time, may I add) and started to swear and shit like that infront of Gillian (usually she doesnt do this), so I left ASAP...because I didnt want the whole yelling thing to start happening again. Although, I didnt tell her where i was going, because i didnt want to speak to her.
We went to see Hancock (stupid as fuck, but whatever. atleast I was away from the family), so I had my phone on silent. About half way through the movie, I feel my phone vibrating. My mom called three times, and my dad called twice. My mom is evil. She left me messages. The first one was something like this: "So. You're not answering the phone? Just like your father. Well guess what. You're little thing for the computer, i forget what its called, well. Its gone. Im giving it to someone who is BETTER and NEEDS it more than you do. You're such a little bitch. Too bad. If you didnt leave it in my room, I probably would have forgotten about it."
So my bad.
The next message she left me was something along the lines of: "Oh ya. So. What a nice looking iPod that is. You know, 80 gigs could get me money. I mean, I did buy it for you, I can take it back and sell it that quickly. Infact, ya, thats what I'll do. So now you're without an iPod AND a tablet. Isnt that funny?"
My /music/ now too?
She says hurtful things to me almost everyday. I cope with living in this hell hole BY listening to my music. I can connect with it in every way. She trashed my room looking for it. But she found it. And now I cant find it. anywhere. And she hid the CD player. Its like she WANTS be to be emo. I'd rather die than live in a family like mine anymore.
I know people think that my family is not as bad as others. But thats not true. I have a potentially abusive father that could kill me with one swing, I have a mother who insults me every day of my life, and a sister that gets away with everything she wants to. Pile that on a teenage girl with her own troubles with school, people, life, you get some pretty messed up person. Im surprised Ive been able to deal with this for as long as I have. But im DONE. I cant handle it anymore. Im just...going to leave. I dont know where too, but i need to. For the sake of my mental health. Maybe I'll get up really early and just go chill at the park and not come home til really late. That way I dont see any of them. And that way my parents get their wish that I wont be on the computer 24/7.
Man. I hate being a teenager. I cant leave, but im expected to have so much responsibility placed on my shoulders... The responsibility of an adult on the shoulders of a person who doesnt get treated like an adult.
How fucked up is that.
So. Dont expect any art of any kind from me. Even if i did manage to put something good on paper, I dont have a scanner or a camera to scan it with.
On another note, I fell when leaving the movie theaters with Gill, and i ripped my pants at the knee, and it left a big bloody scratch. I didnt notice until I got home, but now that I rinced it with water, it hurts like a bitch.
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DA Family:
Mommie:
Loveable Idiot Child:
Pet:
Owner:
~~**Clubs Im In**~~
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Devious Comments
If you wanna hear some stuff, it miiiight interest you to learn about some teens.
If you decide to read, take a deeeeep breath, this is long as fuck. lololol
You're what? The same age as me? I've been through bullshit all my life, and through such bullshit, I learned about others too and use that knowledge to help people.
Go ahead and take a break from your home, I did that too, packed up all my stuff in boxes and lived at my friends' houses for a week. After that, I lived on my own for a week more in an empty house my oh-so-hated uncle of mine left a key at my grandma's house. But even if your parents seem like they hate you, that time away from you will also hit them that they need you.
Your little sister, well little siblings are bitches. You're probably tired of the older sibling bull crap, but it is a fact you need to face whether you like it or not. Two wrongs don't make a right either if you get back at your sister.
I have a friend whose younger sister is like that too, and from what I see, parents don't lay the big responsibility on younger ones because YOU hit the earth first, and they are more used to you having to do responsibilities then the younger ones. It's still a bitch, but it's needed.
Also, you should be lucky you can go out at ungodly hours of the night. You know how much of those teens that actually DO wrong things would kill to have that freedom? And during the day, parents will expect you to complete chores first before hanging with friends. Even if your sister has none, it's better to suck it in, and just do it. My protip: Just do it fast, and perfect it later. As long as you do it.
Maybe you should consider getting a part time job too. I took a job once I had that opportunity and it's nice to get away from family for 7 hours almost every day AND get paid for it. Transportation isn't a real problem, a bike/skates/etc. work perfectly no matter the distance.
But my main advice is don't go batshit insane or depressed over all this. Even if it has been happening for years, it'll all pass. If your parents were really that bad, you would be in a foster home right now. And trust me, foster homes are crappy, but getting pulled from your family is crappier.
Another thing that might interest you in emancipation. If you can prove to the court that you can take care of yourself ((meaning you miight wanna get a job first)) and that your home is not right for you, at 16, you are allowed to be treated as if you were 18. Get credit, rent apartment, etc. etc. AS LONG as you still go to school. You can even apply for wellfare if you have to. It's a big decision to make for this, but if you really don't want to live with your family, live on your own lololol
Also, don't try to run away. Runaways usually get caught and sent to a mental hospital. When I spent my time at the mental hospital, a lot of the teens in my unit were runaways, all caught, parents threw a fit of worry and sent them there for rehab. And Rehab is NOT fun. All that bullshit rules, sleeping at 9 PM, no electronics, blah blah. But yeah, running away/doing something drastic will wind you up in a terrible place. It might help, it kinda helped me, but it's boring as fuck.
But yeah, I could tell you more stuff, but it'd probably be the same stuff everyone says. It sucks now, but in a couple of years, it'd all be over. Instead, you should use this moment as your advantage. Your parents pay for a lot of your school stuff ((be lucky for that, I pay for ALL my school crap, sooo much money D; )) and they give you food and shelter. Hellish shelter, but it's better then living in the streets.
My friends who have no family to stay with and live on their own always tell me how much they wish they could live with their parents again. Parents are bitches, but at least they didn't have to pay $600+ for rent and food alone on their minimum wage jobs.
But get this. Most parents act "cruel" to their children because of their past. One of my friend's parents try their best to take care of her, single child, but she see's her as a bitch because she's always yelling at her and taking away her stuff. But it's because their past, their parents didn't take care of them good so in return, parenting is difficult.
Teenagers have a lot of things on their shoulders that's for sure. But just imagine what happens when you're an adult. If you can survive and handle the situation now with your fucked up life, you can succeed in the future, because it's going to be like that too. The teenage years, as every school tries to emphasize, are meant for beefing you up to prepare for the next big step, which is adulthood. And truthfully, YOU have the upper advantage over other students because, since other students don't have the stress situations as bad, when this is over, stress situations are nothing.
It's okay to be pissed, it's okay to feel the way your journal expresses how you're feeling, but just remember, it's just a phase. Like the phases of the moon, it's there, then it'll pass, but it's going to eventually come back. It's going to be hard, even away from your family. Right now you have school and family to worry about. In the future, it's going to be job, family, housing, money, and more crap to worry about.
Life sucks, who cares, just live it. It's unfair, it's a bitch, and good things happen to bad people. In the beginning... If bad things happen to you now, that means in the future it'll be better.
Something I learned from freaking One Piece that I live my life upon, is if you continue on living, then good things will happen. It doesn't matter about being emo or not it reffers to, but also quitting. Don't quit, persevere, and all that other motivational crap you hear.
So that's all I have to say. I will be expecting you to post more artz when this is all over. :3
What are you going to do now?
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paper covers rock, bitch.
My cat SHITS in a BOX!
That was an epic hardcore comment, yo.
My sister is only three fucking years younger than I am, and I did everything at her age too. Wtf.
My parents are fucked up. My parents say "GO OUT. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. DO THESE THINGS LATER" but when I come home, they bitch at me because they're not done. Like. Does that not scream INSANE?
XD And I forget everything else I was going to sayyyyyyyyyy.
I was going to try and make my reply as long as your responce. But i failed.
...
Epicly.
Lol.
Thanks for actually taking the time to READ that, though. XDDD
--
Slit my wrists, take away the pain.
Slit my throat, there’s no one to blame.
XD
BILL AND TOM ARE LOVE.
Actually.
I do know what Im going to do.
Ive had it with doing all this shit she tells me to do.
I found the CD player. I have plenty of time now to improve on my traditional media, /AND/ I HAVE 60 DAYS OF WARCRAFT. DUH. IM SET. And Im just going to rebel against everything she tells me to do, until it finally pisses her off enough that she'll give them back to be, because she knows Im not going to budge
--
Slit my wrists, take away the pain.
Slit my throat, there’s no one to blame.
Aren't you going to look for them?
--
paper covers rock, bitch.
My cat SHITS in a BOX!
And no. She brought them to wendys. XD
--
Slit my wrists, take away the pain.
Slit my throat, there’s no one to blame.
Have fun wuth that...
--
paper covers rock, bitch.
My cat SHITS in a BOX!
--
Slit my wrists, take away the pain.
Slit my throat, there’s no one to blame.
--
paper covers rock, bitch.
My cat SHITS in a BOX!
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